Queso

Awhile ago my friend, Crystal, and I sat down in front of the biggest bowl of queso we had ever seen. I don't think Crystal knew what she was ordering when she asked for the special queso at Marquez's Restaurant that night. Nonetheless, we both grabbed a chip and took the plunge into the hot cheesy goodness. It had been forever since I sat down with my dear friend. She lives a hour away on the other side of Dallas, but that's pretty close compared to the miles between us the past five years that included an ocean. We had just left the photo expo (she's amazing photographer- check her out here) at the convention center and maneuvered the long way around Arlington to avoid football traffic to get to my favorite mexican restaurant.

As we ate our way through not only the queso, but the sour cream, guacamole, and salsa floating in the cheese, we talked about our days in Arlington. It doesn't seem that long ago when we both going to the University of Arlington, right down the street. Crystal and I had met in youth group when she was dating my friend Cole. After high school, I went on to UTA to start pursuing my nursing degree and Crystal followed the year later. We joined the same Bible study on campus and we've been friends ever since. Coincidently, in the same year, we end up transferring universities- Crystal to Texas A&M and me to UT-Tyler. That night, as we enjoyed our tacos she reminded me how much I wanted to turn around at every exit we passed on I-20 as she helped me moved to East Texas. Well, God had a purpose for everything that happened the next five years in Tyler as I finished my nursing degree, went on mission trips to Guatemala, and finally found my calling with Mercy Ships. The same for her as she moved to College Station, connected and served with the Navigators, and married her high school sweetheart, Cole.

By the time Crystal and I left the restaurant with our appetite satisfied (I don't think I ate cheese for a week after) the football fans had cleared the streets. It took only five minutes to get back to my place compared to the very long and complicated path I had taken earlier. I think about this night because it reminds me how God works in our lives. Sometimes we take longer to get where we need to by choice, by our stubbornness, by pride, by a lot of things, but we eventually make it to our destination. I believe God plans some of those ups and down and twists in our lives so we have to trust Him when the journey is too much. When we do finally make it, God has something even greater in store than we could ever imagine. Almost like how our long drive was worth it for that glorious bowl of queso. Again, I recall how stubborn I was filling out nursing school applications and upset I was about moving to Tyler, but at the end God gave me the most wonderful adventures in serving in West Africa. Tonight, I need to remember this lesson as its been a difficult 10 months being back in the states and I still have no firm plans on graduate school. (I've applied twice to a very competitive FNP program. I meet qualifications, there is just not enough space in the program). I do not doubt that God has worked in my life during this time, through the highs and lows. It might sound silly, but I'm praying soon that this long road I've traveled will bring me to the big bowl of queso I need to get back on the mission field.

By the way, I just got an email from Groupon with an offer from Marquez's. So if anyone is craving some special queso or tacos after this blog entry, let me know!

Just some more food for thought:

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:33-34

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Change

In the previous post I mentioned I was not the same person today that I was when I left for Africa five years ago. Realizing the changes, I contemplated how I could share with the my blog audience the new me. Some things are still the same like my knack for finding clearance deals, my love of hymns, making a creative mess into the night to mail a single card, my laugh that will always be too loud, and my obsession with Wheat Thins... just to name a few.  These days I'm not sure who reads my updates since its mainly about how this former missionary nurse is coping with life in the states. However, I figured I could share a few of them as prayer points and others just for you to laugh along with me about because it may have happened to you.

1. So I'll start with a light-hearted one. As I sit here at my computer, I'm polishing off a tub of hummus. Hummus, you say? Probably something I would never have touched before 2009. However, when a Lebanese restaurant is on every corner in West Africa, that is what you eat. Our first homemade mexican dinner in Benin, my friends and I decided pita bread was the next best thing in replacing our beloved tortillas. These days I go for the hummus over the salsa when I look for a snack. I also know where to find a schwarma in Arlington or a tasty falafel wrap in Tyler. So my taste-buds have changed just a little which has helped the waist line.

2. When people ask me how I'm doing, I answer "yeah, good". Now I know this is not proper English because my roommate rolls her eyes every time I say it. Sometimes, I kind of say it with a Dutch/German accent not meaning too! I figured my time split with international friends and in Sierra Leone where they use every sentence with "yeah"- this word is in my vocabulary permanently. My family is convinced I have come home with a different accent and inflection when I ask questions too. I also find it that sometimes I am difficult to understand, not sure if its my hearing loss (from African churches' sound systems) or I use different lingo. Like today I used "swab" instead of "sponge" at work and I got some puzzling looks. Some days, I feel like Moses when he tells the Lord he is not worthy of the call because he does not have eloquent speech. Please pray that I may be able to communicate well not only at my workplace, but also it does not hinder any relationships.

3. Most Texans drink ice tea and some (East Texans) add enough sugar to make your cheeks pucker and teeth hurt. So many late nights spent in the dining room on the ship, I learned to love hot tea with a splash of milk. It took me awhile to acquire this taste, but not a day does go by that don't I boil my teapot. I am definitely still frugal and might use the same tea bag for 2-3 cups to get me through my day. Tea reminds me of the fellowship I long for these days... it was what brought people together on the ship whether to play games or just to chat about life. I also would make many cups of tea for my Bible study girls every week in Sierra Leone. Tea makes my heart happy, but these days I miss sharing it with friends. This prayer request is not for me cut to back on tea, but to find friends with the same interests and if its meant to be, to enjoy a cuppa together.

4. Last week I drove through the elements: rain, sleet, fog, and snow. I might have used my horn just a few times. Any of us that have experienced driving/riding in Africa know quite well about the honking. I explain it as cars having a conversation. You might be going around a corner or passing someone, but you always use your horn to let them know you were there. They would respond with a honk. As a pedestrian, horns were your lifesaver. So often I find myself in the maze of highways here in Dallas and I use my horn a little more often just to let people know I'm there. It is a habit I'm trying to break because I don't want to disturb the peace and quiet of the roads. Also, I don't leave home without my GPS which happens to be my phone. My auto-correct once changed GPS to God and I had to giggle a little because both guide me in the right direction. I've talked with others about coming home from Africa and driving is one most of us have to tackle. I think in Africa we learned we couldn't trust other drivers, there are no laws to follow, and you had to pray each time you braved the roads. This is the same mind-set I have when I leave in the morning for work and I ask that you pray not only for safety, but for my anxiety to lessen as I learn to navigate DFW roads with the help of my horn and GPS.

5. The most exciting news for me is I'm going to Africa next week on holiday! Another word that gets quizzical looks as I'm learning again to say "vacation" instead of "holiday". This is no ordinary trip as it requires flights from DFW to Dulles to Senegal to Johannesburg and finally to Cape Town, South Africa. So a few hours on a road trip cannot feed the need to travel, but a 20-hour flight sure gets you to where you need to be. Along with Mercy Ships friends, we are going to celebrate the wedding of our friend Estelle, my former cabin-mate. When you make friends from all over world, you travel half-way around the world to see them. So the two-week adventure involves the wedding, seeing MS friends, Cape Town sights, seeing Victoria Falls in Zambia, a safari in Bostwana, and riding elephants in Zimbabwe. When my friends Maggie & Angie plan a trip they mean serious business and the need for more stamps in the passport. I'm just happy to go along for the ride and hope for a chance to love on some kids since our hostel is next to an orphanage in Zambia. I imagine from from Feb 19- March 5th I will be in my element (and so HAPPY!) and I would appreciate prayers for travel mercies and good times with friends.

There is usually a negative stigma when it comes to change. I've come to embrace it and learn from it. Yes, change is hard and scary sometimes. I don't doubt that because since I've been stateside change has brought not only joy, but tears as well. All along I thought it was life around me changing, but I have realized more that its me that has changed. God used my experiences in Africa to form and change  me to who I am today, from my taste buds to what burdens my heart in this broken world. I cling to the hope that change comes from God and that change is good because God is good.

Wall

Now that the holidays are over, life has gone back to normal. Normal is boring for me. I wake up when its still dark, go to work at a hospital, come home, workout, and make a salad for dinner (because that is all I know how to "cook" for one person). Eventually I force myself to bed by ten knowing I have to wake up the next morning to repeat the routine. This is the Secret Life of Allison Green in case you were wondering. Its not as exciting as Walter Mitty or busy like my life overseas (where I would run out of time to even sleep somedays), but trusting God this is just a season. I also have another secret, its contentment in Christ. It what keeps me going and I'm not saying its easy or I'm hundred-percent there, it is a daily choice... a daily prayer. Some say contentment is focusing on the now, but I believe we still have to remember the past to know how far we've come. I am not the same person today than I was five years ago when I left for full-time missions. Not a day goes by that I don't think of the people I met, places I visited, and experiences around the world that have shaped me who I am today. So I look back at times, but I also look at the moment that is in front of me and decide I don't want to miss out on what God is doing now.

Africa (front & center), Guatemala (left)

So every morning I wake up and turn over to see this wall of cherished memories. Pictures reminding me of my visits to villages with the Jesus Film team and smiles of beloved patients. Laughing about the canoe trip (with only one life jacket) I took with friends to Banana Island, Sierra Leone and missing the beautiful sunsets we would see on the sail. The artwork is from all over West Africa and reminds me of the beauty I saw despite the brokenness. My sister gave me the picture in the center, its says "The world is my battlefield. Love is my weapon of choice." Looking at the wall sometimes makes me homesick, but more than anything I am reminded God taught me how to love and gave me strength to do it everyday. He handed me adventures and gave me a purpose with His love. Why do I doubt that He won't do the same here? That is when I know I am right where God wants me and I don't want to miss a thing.

Prayers

Since sending out my Christmas/New Year's letters, I realized I should post a blog in hopes that people still take a moment to check up on this missionary nurse. A month ago, God answered the prayer of my heart and gave me a last minute opportunity to serve in Sarstun, Guatemala with Refuge International. From that first call asking if I could come down to Guatemala (in less than a week) to the night I arrived home after one grueling trip, I saw God answer countless prayers of mine and yours too... He always does. Here's just a few examples.

An ice storm had hit Texas the night before the team (14 from four states) was suppose to fly out, but we all made it despite flights being canceled and short layovers. From Guatemala city we set out on a very long bus drive to Puerto Barrios. It is a very curvy and busy two-land road.  There was an incident with a motorcycle accident and thankfully no one was hurt, but the team was definitely shaken. That night we stayed in a hotel, to wait for our boat ride the next morning. I took a stroll outside with my cafe con leche that next morning to post this picture on FB and ask for your prayers. From that point we loaded the boat, we had no connection to the outside world, but I took comfort knowing prayers were being lifted up for our team.

This is the outside of the clinic and the operating room is the middle window. It was a busy week with being the only nurse trying to cover many duties. We had a wonderful group of nursing students learning pre/post-op and helping me in the operating room, so lots of teaching opportunities. I hope these ladies were inspired to continue to make a difference with their nursing skills. We were able to serve the people of Sartun by providing free healthcare, a baby was born by a midwife on our team, and hernias and gallbladders were taken care of in the OR by our surgeons. There was an electrical fire one day, we lost power in the OR, patients were evacuated, and thankfully no one was hurt. We finished the last surgery with just headlights and by your prayers. 

This is a snapshot of our living quarters. Sorry its so dark, I didn't get much time during the day outside of the operating room besides meal times. This is one of my favorite places to stay even if some say its "roughing it" by sleeping on air mattress and under mosquito nets. Despite the howling monkeys, croaking frogs, barking dogs, and roosters starting a chorus about 2am, I slept pretty well this trip. In August you might have remembered we had several close lightening strikes that kept us up most nights. Before we crawled under our nets, the team would chill by playing charades in two languages (a fun bonding experience) and hanging out on the balcony looking at the stars. 

Speaking of meal times, we are always fed so well in Sarstun by Thelma. Thelma's house is just a stroll through the mud and pass the cows for three meals a day. Most meals consist of black beans, eggs, fruit, and tortillas. Sometimes, she even fries the flour tortillas for a special treat! We sit on Thelma's porch watching patients paddle by in their tree-hallowed canoes. On past trips, I was notorious for getting sick and needing an IV for rehydration. With the help of a Pepto each day and your prayers for my health, I made it this week without falling ill. Everyday I would hug Thelma and tell her "te amo", but when I return home I'm always thankful for a salad bar.




You might be able to tell who is not camera shy in this picture. The one that is trying to hide is Deb Bell. She is one amazing, selfless woman that I admire and inspire to be like one day. She started Refuge International because she saw a great need and wanted to be the change in the world. She works as Family Nurse Practitioner full-time and still finds time to travel to Guatemala a dozen times a year to lead trips. Deb and I had a lot of time to talk on boat rides and late nights in the pharmacy as she encouraged me to keep pursuing grad school. Nine years ago she was brave enough to take nursing students to Guatemala, lets hope she is brave enough to take me as a NP student one day.

It was my tenth time down to Guatemala so I don't think about taking pictures (just a few for blog entries like this one). One morning I woke up to this beautiful view. The sun was rising over the hill and the roosters had quieted down and the dogs were still in their Benadryl daze (we might have dosed them a few nights). Despite the craziness of this trip, from the bus ride to the electrical fire and long days on my feet- the sunrise gave me peace I was right where I needed to be because God is faithful and He answers our prayers.
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

Proverbs 31:8-9

The month of November I spent time reading a chapter of Proverbs each day. It was pretty easy to keep track of- chapter 1 on the first of the month, second on the second, conveniently you read chapter 15 (my favorite) on the 15th day and so on. So on Sunday, December 1st, it was time for me to finish the book of wisdom by reading the well known chapter 31." I actually never made it to the end as I read 31:8-9:

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
    for the rights of all who are destitute.
⁹ Speak up and judge fairly;
    defend the rights of the poor and needy."

I didn't remember this part of Chapter 31. How many times have I read Proverbs since Mr. William's 6th grade Sunday school class? How many times, are women directed to Proverbs 31 to read about noble character and we miss this? I just had to pause that night and read this over again as it became my prayer. My heart was broken for the destitute. How could I speak up for them when I am in one of the wealthiest country? I thought of our cleft lip babies that needed us to be their advocate in a country where they were seen as cursed. My fistula ladies came to my mind as they were judged because they suffered through traumatic childbirth. How I missed taking care of those that were in need of the basics- not only healthcare, but just to be loved. I missed Africa and Guatemala... and wrote that in my journal as I longed to be anywhere else, but here. I needed purpose and direction in this world. I was homesick for what I loved to do. So I went to bed that night with the prayer that God would show me how I can "speak up" for those in my path in the coming days. 

Early Monday morning I was at work at 5:30am for a long day of bariatric surgery. My heart was still heavy with my prayer from the night before as I tried my best to take care of my patients and yes, even the surgeons. On my lunch break, I saw a missed call from my friend, Susan, who I often to go with on Refuge International medical mission trips. She had also texted me "Can you go to Guatemala?" I was on the verge of tears of frustration, but they turned into tears of "faithfulness"- as God had answered my prayer. A couple phone calls later, a check of my planner, and with my agency's blessing to have the week off- I bought my plane ticket for Guatemala! Hopefully, I'll fly out tomorrow morning despite the ice covering DFW and below freezing temperatures. I can't wait to the sun of Guatemala! Thank you in advance for your prayers for the team as we serve those in the coastal region of Sarstun, Guatemala that are poor and needy. I just wonder, if we all made this Proverb our prayer, how we could change the world of the destitute?